


Forever Together

by klanceft



Category: Phan, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, It wasnt supposed to be dark, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Phan - Freeform, Suicide, im actually sorry, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-13
Updated: 2017-01-13
Packaged: 2018-09-17 05:18:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9307022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/klanceft/pseuds/klanceft
Summary: Its the anniversary of PINOF, and Dan decides to visit his best friend and partner.





	

Dan couldn’t find his pants.  
This was important, and he was late. He was always there on time. He was always there. And he always would be.   
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck” Dan whispered under his breath. He ran over to the dirty laundry pile, most of it was Phil’s clothing. Phil’s clothes were a bit too small for Dan, but he liked to wear them anyways.   
He frantically pushed the clothes around, and luckily he found his blue jeans at the bottom of the pile. He was definitely late by now, and today was more important than any other day. Today was the anniversary of PINOF. Once Dan slid on his jeans, he grabbed a box that he set down on the counter and the blue roses that were placed on top, and ran out the door.  
When he got outside he briskly walked to the crosswalk. There was a man already there; he seemed to be waiting for the lights to tell him that he could cross. Dan closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  
“’Ello there!”  
Dan opened his eyes and looked down at the smaller man. Dan was taller than a lot of people.  
“Got a pretty little gift for a pretty young lady I presume?”  
Dan blinked at the man “Yea- um actually sir, it’s for my partner” He gazed down at his box.  
“Ah I’m sorry! I didn’t get that cha are inta’ the lads!”  
Dan shyly smiled at the older man.   
“Good luck mate!” the man called out to Dan, as the light turned and they went their separate ways. Dan slowly walked down the road. Right, left, left. Dan knew the path by heart. He took a deep breath as he reached the gate to the entrance of the cemetery. He usually left his shoes by the opening, so he could feel the grass on his feet. Today was too cold and wet though. Dan started to make his way towards Phil. Once he reached the spot, he sat down in the wet grass and opened the box. Dan chuckled out loud to himself.   
“Remember the Sims Phil? I-I drew Melapples, and laminated it” He ignored his voice cracking. The picture was done quite small; it fit into Dan’s palm nicely. He pulled back some of the dirt, and buried it underneath.   
“I can’t believe it’s been a whole 4 years since you left” Dan inhaled sharply and looked up, trying to stop the tears. When they started to stream down his face, he wiped them on his white button up.  
“I still haven’t worn black since you told me not to.” Dan waited for a response, but he knew he wouldn’t get one.   
“I’m so sorry Phil. This is my entire fault” He buried his hands into his face. Phil had helped Dan through his darkest times, but once he was out he was so caught up in YouTube and everything, that he neglected to pay attention to Phil. The image is burned into his mind of that day.  
He had just gotten back from grocery shopping, when he found a note in the lobby. He put down the groceries as he read;  
“Daniel  
Please don’t go upstairs. You can’t. Just call somebody else.   
Dan, I love you so very very much. I didn’t want to hurt you and I never will. But I couldn’t handle it. The years with you were definitely the highlight of my life. But as you know, I was getting a lot of hate, and my subscriber count dropped dramatically, while yours skyrocketed. I’m definitely not jealous, and I don’t regret pushing you to start YouTube. But the comments got into my head. They weighed me down. I understand you were busy, but I needed to talk to someone and put down my mask of happiness.  
I don’t really know what else to say, but please don’t look upstairs. I love you Bear.  
Phil”  
Dan’s hands started to shake. He ran upstairs, despite Phil’s words. He busted into Phil’s room.  
“PHI-…” Dan dropped to his knees. Phil was lying on his back, with a silent gun in his hand and blood splattered behind him on the wall and around his body. Dan felt numb. There were tears running down his face. He said nothing as he called 999. He felt nothing as he spoke to the lady on the other side of the phone. He stared blankly as the paramedics came in and took Phil’s body away.  
Dan snapped out of the memory as he felt water pouring from the sky. It started to rain. Dan looked down at Phil’s name on the gravestone, and placed the roses upon his tombstone.  
“I knew you liked the blue ones… every time we went shopping together you obsessed over them like a child looking at candy”   
He looked up into the sky and closed his eyes. He looked at his watch. It was time to leave. He stood up and whispered something that only he could hear,  
“Goodbye my Lion, I loved you so much”  
Dan trudged back to thei-his apartment.  
He headed straight for the bathroom. He slowly unbuttoned his shirt, revealing the scars that covered his skin all over. With tears streaming down his face, he reached for the blade that he had sitting on the counter. He looked down at his wrist, and sliced. He relished in the pain.  
“Not deep enough” He thought to himself, and kept slicing at the same spot, the blood spurting. He stopped suddenly. He knew that this would never be enough, the cycle would never end. Dan put on a sweater, and headed out of the apartment. He walked up the stairs, feeling every step under his shoes.   
Once he got to the top, he took a deep breath and opened the door. The rain immediately soaked him, but it was calming in a strange way. Dan felt all pain leave him, as he walked towards the ledge. On the roof, he could see the cemetery. He kept his eyes locked on it, as he inhaled and stepped off. Dan’s life didn’t pass before his eyes, only the time with Phil did he think about.   
The crack happened first, then the shriek of a woman nearby. Dan knew he was fading, fast. A circle of people gathered around him, telling him to stay awake, stay with them. But Dan didn’t want to be there. He just closed his eyes and waited for the sound to fade. He just tried to keep the image of Phil in his head, hearing his laughter. Soon enough, that faded. And so did Dan.

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so when I was writing this it wasn't supposed to be this dark. Sorry :P
> 
> Please comment and give feedback! Comments are literally my lifeforce and inspire me to write. Kudos are also majorly appreciated:)


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